a picture post today... here are some pictures from Khao Lak. It is seriously one of the best and nicest places i have ever been to.. i love that place. words really can't describe what the place is like... all i know is that i will miss it like nothing in the world. i would seriously love to go back if i can.

anyway, the above pic is an orphan fom there.. worked there as a volunteer for a month. cute guy innit?



what my place looked like. mess eh? stayed with a friend of mine.. real cute guy. name's perry.



there he is. what he's holding is a bottle of chicken sauce. and he's vegetarian. oh, the chicken sauce turned out to be bbq sauce. ZZZ.



khao lak's waves. BEAUTIFUL. never ever will you find something like this is Singapore.



place we stayed before we shifted to the one up there. on the left is a bedroom.

that's all for now... will post more next time.

signing off..

serge

it has been a really long time since i have updated, sorry. i have been busy these days.. lots of stuff to iron out. hmm. all right... now what to say..

first, i have recently returned from a trip to khao lak, and it has been great there. i love it there.. it was really nice. peace and quiet was the name of the game, no cars, no busy traffic. and the best part, the green everywhere, the blue skies, the brown earth.. basically nature in it's element. apart from the several buildings there, everything was untouched nature.. for the first time in a REALLLY long time, i saw blue skies. loved every minute i was there. the reason i was there was to teach english to the locals. they were really friendly, really kind. it was such a delight to just be there, conversing with them.. brings joy like no other. and i miss those beaches.... I WANNA GO BACK!!!

then there is the orphanage opened by the duang prateep foundation. they have lots of kids there, all full of attention and energy. they'd climb up your leg, begging you to carry them.. they are all so cute! even the bigger children... it's such a sad thing that they are all just orphans.. i feel sad for them. they deserve more than that.

haiz. that's all for now, till pictures come in. then it will be my first picture post. cya guys.

serge

call me attention seeking, call me an idiot. but i'm sad. that's that.

i doubt anyone will remember that on friday next week it shall be my birthday. i've been to bf for so long, and yet till now, no one has ever organised anything to surprise me. i feel that all that i have done for them is like something they think is natural, a definite must.

but gosh, i have feelings too you know.

i feel unappreciated. i feel worked. i feel... worthless in the eyes of them. no one will ever give a flying fuck about me. no one. only my parents, my brother, my ze. i really just wish someone would make my day, make me happy. i'm always the one trying to cheer people up. why won't anyone cheer me up? it gets old.

remember, i have feelings too. i like to feel at least appreciated. if not, what the hell.

bah.

grabbed this off miao hui... go think whether it's worth believing.

001. Real name:
+ Kan Rong Han Serge (can be seen on the sidebar, go read)

002. Nickname:
+ i have loads. some of them are longan(fruit), luohan(fish), arahart (luohan in chinese), fish, dragon sweat... amongst others.

003. Are you married:
+ nope.

004. Zodiac sign:
+ the twins, gemini

005. Male or female:
+ male

006. Elementary:
+ Parry Primary School (no longer exists. sad.)

007. Middle:
+ Maris Stella High School. (don't be fooled by the word high... it was damn low.)

008. Highschool:
+ Nanyang Poly

010. Hair color:
+ Black

011. Long or short:
+ short. and i like it like that.

015. Are you health freak:
+ nope.

016. Height:
+ 180cm

017. Do you have a crush on
someone:
+ yes.

018. Do you like yourself:
+ somewhat.

019. Piercings:
+ nope

020. Tattoos:
+ None.

021. Righty or lefty:
+ Righty and lefty. i can use both hands to different proficiency.


FIRSTS :

022. First surgery:
+ umbilical chord got cut, that's when i was one minute old?

023. First piercing:
+ none.

024. First best friend:
+ kindergarden. he's still one of my best friends till today.

025. First award:
+ Swimming bronze medal.

026. First sport you joined:
+ soccer.

027. First pet:
+ terrapins. 3 of them. once died of heat stroke, one died getting flushed down the toilet bowl, one escaped my torture via the drain. (still dunno how one of them ended up in the toilet bowl.... weird.)

028. First vacation:
+ Bali. damn boring.

029. First concert:
+ i attended? jason mraz, live, 2005. participated? MSHS concert band, 2002.

030. First crush:
+ primary school. first girl from there too.

CURRENTLY:

049. Eating:
+ had a tuna sandwich for lunch. that's about it.

050. Drinking:
+ ribena. the goodness of vitamin C! (bah.)

052. I'm about to:
+ eat. does listening to music count?

055. Waiting for:
+ crap, i dunno... dinner?

YOUR FUTURE :

058. Want kids:
+ yep. they are a bundle of joy.

059. Want to get married:
+ yep.

060. Careers in mind:
+ teacher (history),  journalist(gaming)

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE
SEX? :

068. Lips or eyes:
+ they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. i like to know what my partner feels, so i say eyes.

069. Hugs or kisses:
+ hugs.

070. Shorter or taller:
+ a WEE bit shorter.

072. Romantic or spontaneous:
+spontaneous. more fun this way, since i am more of the romantic.

073. Nice stomach or nice arms:
+ do i have to choose? if i do... nice stomach.

074. Sensitive or loud:
+ both.

075. Hook-up or relationship:
+ relationship.

077. Trouble maker or hesitant:
+ hesitant.


HAVE YOU EVER :

078. Kissed a stranger:
> nope.

079. Drank bubbles:
> my own, when i blew them into a cup of iced tea.

080. Lost glasses/contacts:
> nope.

081. Ran away from home:
> yep.

084. Broken someone's heart:
> i think i did once.

085. Been arrested:
> nope.

086. Turned someone down:
> yea, once.

087. Cried when someone died:
> nope. i'm cold.

088. Liked a friend:
>d-uh.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself: somewhat?

090. Miracles: see what the miracle is first.

091. Love at first sight: sadly, no. crushes yes.

092. Heaven: yea

093. Santa clause : nope... maybe i matured too early... at what, 4 years old?

094. Sex on first date: No. never.

096. Angels: Yes, somewhat.


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

097. Is there one person you want to
be with right now?
>hmm... you'll see.

098. Had more than one
boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?:
>hell NO.

099. Do you believe in God?:
> there is a god, and there are many gods. so i believe that there is god, and many gods as well. what say you?

100. Will you post this as "100
Truths"?:
see my mood.

hahahahahaha. yep! i'm back.... no more a monster, no longer an asshole. just plain old me. i won't hide behind a mask anymore, always being a shrinking turtle, as the chinese say. it's time to face the problems i have head on. no more hiding. love life as it is, life has lessons for you, and everything happens for a reason. that's why life's so wonderful. lovely, in fact. I'M BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaa.

signing off,

Serge

sometimes, i feel like i'm born in this world as an irritant. whoever i come into contact with will at one point of time find me so irritating that they don't want to mix with me any longer. it's been the same story all the time.. perhaps it's high time that i lived in recluse, not coming into contact with anyone, anybody... dammit, i can't even console someone close to me. bah, i'm useless.

shh.

for all who have been coming to this blog, thanks for your support.

but i don't know who i am anymore.

a monster?

an asshole?

who knows?

it's supposed to be a bumper year. pigs supposedly bring good luck and fortune, as well as bumper years for all. right?

wrong. very wrong.

it's not a year for a bumper harvest for me. definitely. i don't want it to be. i just want to be a kid that's lean and mean, with enough muscle to tell those who think i'm a whimp to think twice. bah.

it's time to shrink 2 sizes in my pants size. it's way too big. i've gone about this rant for a freakily long time already, but i still ain't doing anything about it. hehehehehe. drats... time to hit the gym.

being in a place with all men and hardly anyone from the opposite sex isn't exactly very appealing to me. furthermore these men try to act sooooo cool and sooooo appealing it becomes nauseous to me. that's the main reason why i never join gyms. but seeing that my physique now demands that i go into it, it's time for me to do the same thing they all do and pump some iron. haiz... ain't exactly my cuppa tea.

all right, that's all for now..

signing off...

Serge

there's been a bunch of firsts this week... dunno why. it's as though i was just born this week to a world i never want to be in. absolutely lovely.

funny though, for the first time i cried myself to sleep. i've never done that before, and i finally know how miserable it is to do so. i just suddenly felt so... alone. very alone. no one to talk to, no one to really pour my heart out to. it's really....... it just eats at your heart. no fun at all. i guess that's what you get when you are always surrounded by loved ones, and suddenly, they all just disappear. now i know what orphans feel like.

also, for the first time i didn't dare to talk to a girl. i mean, really talk. somehow. with roxanne it was easy, with my first girlfriend it was just plain easy. but this time round, i don't know why. it was just so hard. i didn't want to screw up. i don't DARE to screw up. it's really bad if i do.. and it would kill me once again. damn.

anyway, gtg.. short posts for all to see! hehe.

signing off,

Serge